Captivating

I just finished the book Captivating by Stasi Eldredge. I would have to say it is definately a must read for every woman. It will go on my list of books that changed my life. As soon as I started reading it I couldn't put it down. The first day I read six chapters. In those six chapters I learned a great deal about my heart. I was finally able to let God heal me of wounds that were given long ago and ones that are more recent. I have believed for nearly twenty four years that I should be afraid. I don't think I would have ever been able to verbalize it but I was constantly afraid. I was afraid of sounding dumb, afraid of rejection, afraid my ideas weren't "right". Just afraid in general. Therefore I never really opened up to anyone. I only let people see what I thought would be well reiceived. This book has helped me immensly. A big thank you to Stasi for writing this book.

Men and Women

While talking to my husband last night we made a discovery about ourselves that I think may be universal. It all started with him stating that he had some hot chocolate at a friends house. To most this is not a big deal, but my husband does not drink hot chocolate. I have never seen him drink it in twelve years. So in an astonished tone I restated to him " You had hot chocolate!" He wondered why women always say these types of statements to their men. After much deliberation I think we finally figured it out.

Women watch their men. They notice everything he does. What he likes, doesn't like, habits, and just about everything else. It comes naturally to us. We are not even really aware that we are doing it. It is just that everything registers in our little bank so that, and this is the important part, we can do nice little things for them without it being a big deal. We see something they might like and just get it. We can see something trivial and think of them. We can know what they don't like and avoid it or try to do it for them. My husband also thinks women do all this noticing to feel comfort in the steadyness of her man. When he varies from his norm she feels like maybe she doesn't really know him. I would have to say that probably on a subconsious level he is right. Women like to know what to expect. Don't get me wrong, we love surprises too, (nice ones), but we like to know how things will go.

Kind of a side note to all this. Guys don't notice. They pretty much don't notice much of anything about us on their own. No wonder they make such a big deal about doing anything nice for us. They always say "I can't read your mind". While that is true, they can read past actions and get a pretty good idea what is on our mind. That would be a step in the right direction.

Valentine's Day

We are conditioned while still very young to expect attention on Valentine's Day. When we are in school there is the big party where everyone exchanges valentines. If you don't get very many, there are definate reasons why. Nobody wanted to give you one. When I was young my father always did something nice for my mother and he also gave me and my sister a single carnation. That was the only time I got flowers from my father. Every year there would be two carnations in the kitchen waiting for us when we woke up. It made us feel special. I heard two girls talking about what they did for Valentine's Day today. They were only twelve and ten, but they knew it was a day to say you are special.

What do you do when your husband doesn't "do" Valentine's Day? It's not that he forgets, he just doesn't care to acknowledge you with any niceities. Well, maybe he just doesn't know what a big deal it is to totally ignore the big V Day. He couldn't possibly desire to hurt the woman he says he loves. Then again, maybe it doesn't matter to him. I think most men do not set out to hurt their wives though. I think they just don't get it. There are other holidays where people think of you and do nice things for you or buy a gift, right. Your birthday, Christmas, and anniversarys all are times to do things for others that you love. So why is Valentine's Day such a big deal to ignore? Valentine's Day is the only day specifically set aside to say "I love you, you are special to me" to one person in your life. And that means a great deal.

My husband is one of those who has no desire to "do" anything for Valentine's Day. I sent him a link as a nice reminder titled The Top Ten Do's and Dont's for Men on Valentine's Day. However it did not have the impact I had hoped for. I would have to say I agree with pretty much everything the author said. All of the Dont's are definately no nos if you want a happy wife. The Do's are a good starting point to get some ideas. The whole idea of Valentine's Day is to say how much the other person means to you. By doing nothing the message is that your spouse does indeed mean nothing to you. I don't think this is what most men who don't do anything for their wives on Valentine's Day feel in their hearts, but it is what their actions say loud and clear.
So what do you do? Well, after being sad and disappointed try to think of things he does do for you. There may not be many, but surely there are some. The more you can think of, the less mad you will be at your husband. It will make you feel a little less neglected and a little more thankful. There are many lonely people out there who don't even have an insensitve spouse. They have no one. So be thankful for what you have, try to do nice things for others and go on with your day.

Wisdom

I recently found a study on wisdom to do with my kids. As I was looking through it to see exactly what we are supposed to do I became very convicted that it was me who needed the study and the wisdom. I know if I was truely wise I would not make half the mistakes I do. Alright probably more than half. Sometimes I am pretty foolish in my reactions to things. So my prayer lately has been not only for patience but for wisdom. I think I will do the study with the kids but know with the knowledge that it is for me too.

Adultitus

My husband read an interesting article about adultitus the other day. Adultitus is basically being too much an "adult" and forgeting how to have fun. I have really been considering doing the escape plan, which is a forty day plan to rid you of adultitus. I would like to do it together with my husband. I think it would be good for us. We can all definately use more laughter in our lives. I am a bit nervous though that I wouldn't be able to think of something funny enough to do. I guess that just proves my need to do it. A kid wouldn't have any trouble thinking of something funny or different to do. It is those of us who are stuck in our ways that different seems like such a big deal. I guess if it changes me it will be a big deal, but for the better. Better is always good!

Losing Weight

Okay, I know you are probably hoping I will have some great secret to lose weight but I too am trying to lose. I have no such secret although I wish I did. I have been tracking my progress on tranio and so far have lost ten pounds although it has taken way too long in my opinion. I broke my goals down into smaller chunks so they would be more managable. I need to lose six more pounds by January 17th to make my current goal. Then I will set a new one. I tried some weight loss pills but I just gained weight and they made me feel dizzy so I won't be doing that again. I guess I will have to do it the old fashioned way. Excercise and diet. Neither of which are very fun but until I find that secret that is what I will have to do. My kids got a basketball hoop for Christmas so my little ones are able to join the big kids while I work out in the garage. I don't let the little ones go out without me and I know they want to play too so that is some motivation to get out there. The main motivation though is what I see in the mirror. I have thought about doing Body for Life but am not sure I am up for the intensity. I will post again and let you know on the 17th if I made my goal.

A Bit About Me

I have six children ranging in age from two to ten. My oldest and youngest are girls with all the boys sandwiched in between. I live in Florida so even though it is Christmas today the weather is anything but white. It was probably about 80 degrees or so with plenty of rain and mosquitoes. I homeschool my oldest three officially. We are done for this year as we do school February through November. Next year my six year old will join us in first grade. I started school full time last August and it has been trying. I am going for a Graphics Technology degree at our local community college. Thankfully my husband works from home or it would never work. It has been good to be learning new things but I have been enjoying this time off before second semester starts. I will be driving quite a ways when it does start as my classes are not offered near my home. Home life got kind of crazy when I was in school but I think now that I know what the pitfalls can be it will be a little smoother, hopefully.